When I was looking for every definition of the dominant names and labels I could find I ran across one blog than stated it in very simple terms. You may have a different ideas, but I do think this very simple summary is rather accurate albeit oversimplified.
A Sir is one who Dominates
A Daddy is one who loves the one he Dominates
A Master is one who owns the one he Dominates
Now if we take those simple definitions then my partner should be calling me “Daddy” and perhaps not Master. This however would never work for us since for her the name “Daddy” has far different family (think father) meaning and quite frankly she is not into incest and this is how she would see in in her own mind. I do know this for a fact since we have spoken at great length on this very subject.
To be honest I struggle with my partner calling me “my Master” at times. I know that there are many in the lifestyle that upon hearing that may simple write me off as a want-to-be. For those people I am sorry and our use of that name is not intended to offend in any way. Our use is simply to convey my position within our own relationship and also one where when my partner uses it in public allows her to distinguish me from other dominants around us.
One thing that I have been struck with since I started to seriously investigate BDSM and particularly D/s based relationships. That is the use of names and/or labels and how sometimes things appear to be somewhat hypocritical. I am sorry if that offends you, but please take a moment to consider the context in which it is meant.
One of the things the BDSM community as a whole prides itself on I believe is the widely varying degrees and ways in which it may be practiced. As a community it seems to be universally accepted within that there is no real right or wrong (well yes there are some wrong ways for sure – think safety and such) way but that each party will do their own thing(s) within its boundaries. I also seems that what is commonly referred to as High Protocol is usually reserved for specific occasions, events, and in some case specific locations. I also see that the lines are blurred for many people when it comes to exactly what they may be, but that is accepted since we are all individuals practicing in our ways.
Now where the problem seems to come in is with names and labels, in this there is for many no flexibility at all. On one had many dominants would prefer to be called only by their name by anyone other than their own submissive(s). Some do not accept the term Master to be used at all for anyone that does not have 1000 years experience. Others take great offense should any submissive type not refer to them as Sir or Miss at all times, and may go as far to demand punishment should any slip-up occur.
This very issue is perhaps what we ourselves struggled with at first and is why we started our journey into D/s “in the closet” if you will, doing so only in private. At first even our friends did not know that we had started to “experiment” between ourselves. My partner was quite frankly terrified of offending anyone or appearing disrespectful in any way to anyone around us. I am sure that if this was our situation then others have found themselves in the same.
It was only after my partner was able to accept that part of my “job” was to be responsible for her and protect her that she was even able to start to relax on this. I told her that from my perspective as long as she was conscious of the potential problem but always did her best when communicating then she must relax about it. I explained to her that if she ever did forget to refer to someone “properly” to simply correct herself and apologize. I also told her that if after that if anyone still had an issue that she was to send them directly to me for a resolution.
It was only by putting these steps in place that I felt I could take my partner out in public as a submissive. Not because I was not proud, but I had to protect her until she was able to deal with her fears on this or I would be remiss in my responsibilities to her and our relationship.
I was always told that the two subjects you never discuss are politics and religion as they are sure to start an argument with disagreements for which there is not resolution. It seems that in some ways names/labels within the lifestyle should perhaps be added to that list also. Everyone has their own definitions and although there are many common threads there are also often specific distinctions each individual has and disagreements may often result argument.
So I will end this post by reiterating that my partner calls me “my Master” not in an attempt to show ourselves in a more M/s relationship or that I am a true master of BDSM. I am simply her dominant partner, a master only to her and in her own eyes. We are in fact in a D/s relationship and I love her dearly.
And with that said, me being me (you know me my dear) I can not resist ...
Come to Daddy my dear ...
lol ... yes my Master ;)
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