My Thoughts on D/s

So what is D/s?

Well I think the following picture and text capture the essence of what it really is.

From my perspective D/s is a power exchange relationship where both people have to submit.  Yes, that's right, I said "submit". Now before you possibly take offense to what I just said let me explain my reason for saying it.

It is true that the submissive partner yields control to the dominant partner.  This is done knowingly and willingly.  How much or how little of the power is yielded is based on each couple's own discussions and agreements.  It requires trust and it is here where the dominant partner must also submit.

He, or she, must submit to the relationship and the trust within that relationship.  From the bond between the partners, he/she must believe and trust that this power exchange is true and as agreed.  This takes a leap of faith and is in many ways the dominats own submission - to the lifestyle and the relationship.

Our own dynamic

I know our circumstances are different from many people's in the lifestyle, especially so in SL.  They are not unique, but we are in the minority I know for sure.  We are a married couple, both in RL as well as SL, with a long term relationship, which until recently was based on equality.  We are now transitioning that into a new dynamic based on what we have taken from D/s thus far.  It is a slow and gradual process that can not be rushed, and is being done in both RL as well as SL.

Since we are first and foremost committed to our marriage as our primary relationship it takes time and patience as well as a large degree of flexibility.  Something I am afraid that many couples in D/s may not always allow or accept, especially here in SL.

It has not always been easy and some may even say we are just pretending and not really Dom and sub.  To those people I would only comment that this is our relationship and we will do what works for us.  This is an evolving dynamic and one where our primary relationship shall always take priority.

Those that take the time to get to know us I believe see the commitment we have for each other and know differently.  If anyone else has a problem with that then it is only they who need deal with it.  We are comfortable with what we have and where we are at this time.

What's in  a name?

My wife calls me "my Master", both at home and when we are out amongst others.  I tend to call her either "my dear" or "my love" as this represents her status to me.  She wears a collar with the label "Seth's Precious" because that too represents what she means to me and is meant to communicate that to anyone that looks to see.

Do I deserve the term Master?  After all, I am new to D/s and for that matter any relation based on any aspect of BDSM.  Initially I asked her to only use the "Sir" designation however as we started to settling into our roles she wanted to call me Master as for her that is what I represent.  For this reason she now calls me "my Master".

By calling me "my Master" this refers to me as only her Master and is not meant to mean that I have mastered all there is.  I am quite sure that will be a life long persuit, one of which I intend to do my best, for her as well as myself.

Protocols and Rules

At the beginning we did not do much for rules and had almost no protocols other than her kneeling for me when she first met me online.  As we learned more we found that protocols and rules were tools that are used to help re-enforce the power exchange between us.  That will be the subject of another post so I will not go into details here.