I Make No Mistakes

I knew that would get your attention and I am sure you are thinking “yeah right buddy!”.

So before I lose all credibility I will say that I do make are sometimes impulsive and/or irrational choices, which are at times based on incorrect or incomplete information. Sometimes these can even be clouded by emotions.  They are however choices I make at that moment in time.


Regardless of how often these kinds of choices may be made, when I later look back with the added benefit of hindsight I do not see them as mistakes. They are instead what become more of what we call “life lessons”.  The mistake would be if I learned nothing from them.


In almost every case, if I am honest with myself and remove hindsight from the equation when reviewing any given choice, I believe I would make exactly the same choice again given the exact same set of circumstances. That is not to say that now knowing more that I may not perhaps make a different one. This however is because I learned something as a result of that choice which I may not have otherwise.


So now that we have cleared up what I mean when I say “I make no mistakes” I hope you understand the context in which it is meant.


One of the things that my journey this far into D/s has helped we with is self control, and this helps tremendously when making decisions. I am much less prone to jumping to a quick conclusion but rather take more time to analyze and review what information I have in order to help me make a better, and what I hope are, more rational decisions. I do this not only for myself but also because an increased sense of responsibility to my partner and this has a ripple effect throughout the rest of my life as well.


Even as recent as a year ago I do not believe that I was in a place where I could have taken on this role with my partner. Sure, I was confident and able to take charge. Heck I managed groups of people at work and am well (I think and am told) respected by those around me. Looking back however I feel that perhaps some of my decisions within my relationship were too one-sided whereby I did not always consider the impact on my partner. I did not always use the same decision making process within my relationship as I did at work.


Through our journey into D/s and also my own journey of self-discovery I have a renewed and heightened sense of responsibility and I am also better able to take full ownership of those choices. I also do not care as much about what anyone else may think. It is not that I do not value the opinion of others, in fact I very much do and actively seek this out at times. What I do mean however is that I own my decisions, for good, or for bad.


By taking on the role within our relationship I am making a statement to my partner and those around us that I am responsible for everything that happens for which I can have any impact upon.  Regardless of what I chose, I must consider the impact on my partner and our relationship as well as myself.


I think that perhaps because previously we lived as equals I did not always take into consideration the impact(s) on her as much as I should have. She was after all able to make her own choices and as a result accepted her own consequences. This however is impractical within a relationship because everything we do impacts all parties within the relationship.


I am not saying that D/s was a fix for this, but rather that at least for me it has helped me to grow as a person and as a mate to my partner.  I believe this is, in part, because of the significant increase in communication between us, but it goes much deeper than that. For me the collar that she proudly wears around her neck means so much more to me than the ring she wears on her finger.  It is not a symbol of ownership but rather one of responsibility.


Whenever someone asks who I am at my core I tell them that I am a sum total of all my flaws and experiences.  I am certainly not perfect, and yes I do make mistakes.  I do however also try to learn from them and also minimize the fallout wherever or whenever possible.

We are all shaped by everything that goes on around us and what are our own life lessons.  Every choice we make changes that in some way or another and helps us to grow.  We need to all keep in mind that no matter how small any one of these may "choices" may appear to be, its outcome will have an impact on others around us as well in some manner.


This post may not make sense and may simply be my own verbal ramblings but I felt the need to put these thoughts down while they were fresh in my mind.